When I had Knox, the older boys were just finishing up the second half of Spring semester. A month after he was born, I attended parent-teacher conferences. During one conference a teacher asked me, “When ____(insert name)___ does something he’s not supposed to do, what is his consequence?” Crickets. Oh shoot! Consequences? I had completely forgotten about consequences. What I wanted to tell her, but wisely didn’t, was ...
Posts With Tag: discipline
Danger of Too Much Training {Say less. Pray more}
I had an “ah-ha”parenting moment. I picked up the book “Hints on Child Training” by H. Clay Trumbull. Two older moms (including Sally Clarkson) recommended the book. H. Clay Trumbull, father of eight children & the great-grandfather of Elisabeth Elliot, wrote it in 1890. The advice he gives is Bible-centered, wise & applicable to children of any ...
Inside-Out Approach to Parenting our Challenging Child
I’ve shared here before that we’ve been struggling with our middle child. For all the negative I have said, to be clear, he is adorable, smart, sweet, funny, generous, and helpful. Unfortunately lately we’ve also seen him frequently disobey (at home & school), purposefully hurt his brothers, cross well-established boundaries, and create unnecessary stress in our home. Our response has been ...
Beyond “Stop it!”…Making Disciples
Discipline. It’s not an easy job. When frustrations rise & the same issues need to be addressed, sometimes all you want to do is yell, “STOP IT!!!!”. From my experience “stop it” only goes so far. After the big eyes and shocked expressions fade, the misbehavior begins again. Nothing was learned. No training occurred. From the word “discipline”, comes the word “disciple”. We are commanded in the Bible to ...
Replacing “me” with “He”: Day 1 {Relationship and Rhythm}
The goal of this blog is to encourage other moms (and myself) to relentlessly replace “me” from the center of my world with “God”. To serve my family in humility, placing God’s plans above my own. How do we place God in the center of our lives? What does that really, realistically look like? I’m going to be doing a mini-series this week (“Replacing ‘me’ with ‘He’”) discussing some ...
My {in process} Story
I currently have a 3 month old and I am in the “feeding every 2 hours” stage of life right now. I have noticed my yelling has increased a lot over the past few months. I must sound like a crazy person to my 2 year old and my 4 year old. I really appreciate your post today because it helps me remember need a plan for those times when I can’t jump up and intervene.
such a tricky stage of mothering…they know you “can’t” follow through (well, I guess you could…it would just make one baby VERY upset…adding to the chaos). Let me know if this plan works for you!
I totally relate to your pendulum swing – from too strict to too permissive. Finding balance can be hard! Thanks for the post – it was a good reminder.
always glad to hear when I’m not alone in these things…thanks, Laura!!
I am pregnant with my 3rd baby boy right now and I can see this coming in handy in my near future! I love the questions after the consequence! I will use these with my 3 year old, who can understand and respond, and also my 1 1/2 year old, who will look at me like I’m crazy
Ha! I’m picturing the look on your 18 month old’s face. Yeah I would def say it has the greatest affect on those in my home 3 years and older. From the speech-language pathology perspective…”Why” questions are tricky for little guys. (pst…congrats on the 3rd boy!).
Ooohh, I like this. I shall give this a try! We do: 1. Why are you in time out/why did you get a spanking (depending on the offense). 2. What do you need to say (sorry for ___) and 3. mommy forgives you.
It works (kinda) but I like the better exploration of the event with your plan. Think I will still work on putting the sorry in there.
Thanks!
Oh yes!! thanks for the reminder Pamela. Definitely should have a “how are you going to make things right?” part of the conversation. Especially if misbehavior caused pain for another member of the family. Let me know if it works for y’all. Again…just another tool in the bag.
you talk about making them sit on the naughty step. How do you make a 13 year old do that I ask?
Oh kate! My oldest is 7 & I don’t even have that age figured out. I heard once you should be most strict when your children are little & then loosen up as they get older. Giving them more freedom & responsibility with each year. I also heard “rules without relationship equals rebellion”…again this advice comes from other “experts”. (which I do not claim to be!)
I have a 13 yo son, and usually if he’s being disrespectful to me or ugly to his siblings I send him to his “man cave” for a bit. (He has a loft bed, with a sheet hanging down to close off the part underneath for privacy, as he shares his room with two other brothers.) Usually he just needs some time to calm down, and then we can talk things through.
I always remember Sally Clarkson talking about how we would want to be treated – how on the days where I’m tired and impatient with my kids, I don’t need someone to come fuss at me about how awful I’m being. What I need is someone to say,” hey, you look stressed. Sit down and have a cup of coffee and let’s talk about it.” I think most of the time that’s where he’s at. He has a good heart, and he wants to do the right thing. His hormones and sinful nature just get the better of him sometimes.
just found your blog – thanks to Twitter! Awesome! We live in the same town, and I think we could be friends. :0) You seem to write in my voice! lol
welcome liz!!! gonna head over & check out your blog!! love meeting new friends.